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Prompt: Your background, experiences, and values will
enhance the diversity of Kellogg’s student body. How?.
During my senior year in college, my father was diagnosed
with terminal skin cancer. Like most cancer patients, he spent
the majority of his time in the hospital; he often spoke of
how nice the staff was, and how much his stay was enriched
by the services offered by the volunteers. I felt a great
debt to those people who helped my father and mother during
that difficult time, and I wanted to do the same for other
people in similar situations.
When I moved to New York after graduation, I decided to volunteer
at the Sloan-Kettering Memorial Hospital until I found a job.
Over the next few months, I worked thirty hours a week helping
patients and their families. One of the most rewarding experiences
at the hospital was organizing patient voting for the 1992
Presidential election. I was responsible for coordinating
the procurement and distribution of absentee ballots with
nurses, patients, hospital staff, and the various voting administrations
within the five boroughs of New York City.
The response was overwhelming. The patients were overjoyed
to be included in the voting process. I knew from my father
that the most demoralizing circumstance of a prolonged hospital
stay was the feeling that the world was passing you by. On
that November day, however, I was able to help those patients
feel like part of society again. I will always be grateful
for that.
Once I found a job, I had to curtail my hours at the hospital,
but I did not stop my volunteer work. And although my job
prohibits me from volunteering as much as I’d like, I still
try to find the time. My volunteer work has allowed me to
help others cope with the terrible pain of illness, which
I have experienced first-hand and through my family. The satisfaction
that I gain when I help patients and their families is unlike
any other feeling I have ever had in my life.
I’ve found that my work also helps me to deal with and accept
the loss of my own father. If it were not for him, I never
would have started volunteering. The good work I do is a constant
tribute to his memory.
As an individual, I have learned the benefits of altruism,
and I firmly believe that companies should also take an active
role in philanthropy. I was pleased to see in the admissions
brochure that other Kellogg students feel the same, as demonstrated
by their Business with a Heart program. I know that my unique
perspective and experiences would contribute to this group,
and enable me to enrich the lives of the community as well
as those of my fellow students.
COMMENTS:
This essayist is a good example of someone who chose to focus
on one trait rather than several. By choosing only one quality,
her essay is concise, to the point, and easy to read. She
also leaves a strong impression by introducing only one theme.
This essay is particularly strong because the writer does
not simply label herself as a volunteer and leave it at that.
She makes the topic personal. First, she walks us through
her motivation, then through the experience itself, and finally
through how it has affected her and made her different. She
gives details to bring each of these steps alive but manages
to do so in a very short amount of space. She even specifically
details how this experience will help her contribute by listing
the name of the program she has targeted.
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